It
by britchick
Summary: Isabel leaves town without telling anyone why. Alex thinks he knows but he can't tell anyone
1. crossroad

Isabel sat in her car. She was stopped at a crossroads physically and metaphorically, She didn't know which way to turn. There were two roads to choose one lead to Roswell, the other away. Looking inside herself, she knew which way she had to go. She put her car into drive and turned left, away from Roswell.  
At the Crashdown, the whole gang sat in silence, they were all thinking the same thing, but they couldn't say it. Isabel was gone. Max had seen her drive away the day before, but he had assumed she had been going to Alex's house. It hadn't been until that morning when Alex had phoned and asked to speak to Isabel that they had realised. That had been two hours ago, and since then Alex and Max had franticly phoned everyone in Isabel's address book, but no one had seen her in days.   
"We could try her cellphone" Liz was trying to help, but she couldn't say or do anything that would really help.   
"I tried that already" Max was surprisingly calm, but then her always seemed to be on the outside. " It's turned off."  
Alex didn't say a thing; he seemed to be in a world of his own. He didn't seem to notice what was going on around him. Suddenly, he spoke; "This is all my fault".   
"No, I'm sure whatever's going on, it has nothing to do with any of us." Tess was being as comforting as she could, but everyone knew that no one had any idea what had happened. For all any of them knew, it could all have been Alex's fault.  
Isabel had reached her destination for the night, a small town in the far north of New Mexico. After driving for two days she had decided that she should let the others know that she was OK. She reached for her cellphone, and started to dial Alex's number. Halfway through, she stopped. Alex was the last person she wanted to speak to right now, so she started again. Michael was sure to understand that at the moment, she didn't want to be found. She had to be on her own, she needed to know what she wanted to so before she returned.   
Alex was sitting on his own in his room. He had his hand by the phone. He kept trying to get the courage to phone Max and tell him everything. He knew that he had to tell Max, but he didn't want to, Max would kill him.  
How could they have been so stupid? They were only 17, and now Izy was pregnant. Ok, he was willing to take responsibility, but Izy had gone mad. She had driven off and she had been gone for three days now. He couldn't tell Max, but he had to tell someone. He picked up the phone and dialled Michael's number.  
Michael was in shock. First Isabel had called him to say she was safe then, when he was about to call Max, Alex had phoned and told him everything. He had to phone Isabel and get her to tell him her side of the story. He had to, but he didn't really want to.  
Everyone was sitting in the lounge at Michael's apartment. Alex had just told them the whole story. Just as Alex had expected, Max wanted to kill him, but thanks to Tess he was still alive. Michael was sat in silence; he had got another message from Isabel. She had been in his dream last night and he was only just realising that it hadn't all been his imagination. She had told him something that he didn't want to hear, but ever since Alex had first confessed that Izy was pregnant, he had been expecting it. Isabel had no idea if the father was Alex or Michael.  
Isabel had finally reached the city where she was planning to stay for a while, Austin, Texas. It was busy enough to disappear for a while, and there were plenty of cheep places to stay. The first place she went was to the medical centre 4 blocks from her hotel. They confirmed what she had been suspecting; she was 9 weeks pregnant.   
"Honey, does your boyfriend know?" The nurse was sympathetic.  
"I don't know who the father is." It was the hardest thing she had ever had to say. "I told my boyfriend that I thought I was pregnant, but he doesn't know that he might not be the father"  
"Do you have any idea who else the father might be?" the nurse wasn't judging her, but Isabel felt like a slut.  
"I spent one night with one of my best friends, other than that I've only ever slept with my boyfriend." Isabel felt like she should explain everything, but she couldn't. How could she tell this stranger that she and Michael had spent one night together to stop the dreams? OK, so it hadn't been the smartest thing she had ever done, and she had felt horrible for doing that to Alex, but she hadn't thought things would get this complicated.  
"Do you know if you want to keep the baby?" The nurse was giving Isabel an impossible option. She couldn't have an abortion, her blood was different from human blood, and she couldn't give the baby up for adoption, what would happen if it started to gain the powers that she or Michael had?  
"I want to keep the baby." That was it, whoever the father was, Isabel had decided to take responsibility for it for the next 18 years.   
  



	2. Responsibilities

While Alex was sleeping the next night, Isabel dreamwalked into his dream. Isabel needed to talk to him and this was the only way she could.   
"Hey Alex," Isabel walked over to him.  
"Izy, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault isn't it? I shouldn't have acted the way I did when you told me."  
"No, this has nothing to do with you."  
"That's why you ran away just after you told me".  
"I have to tell you something. You won't like it."  
"Try me".  
"I don't know if you're the father."  
"What are you saying? Who else could it be?"  
"Michael."  
"What, I thought Tess said that you couldn't get pregnant from those dreams, she said. Wait, you slept with him didn't you?"  
"I'm sorry, it was only once. It was the only way to stop the dreams"  
"You bitch, and you spring this on me while I'm asleep, so I can't run away. I can't believe I didn't see it before. You phoned him to say you were safe and not me. I'm so stupid"  
"I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say."  
"Go away, now!"  
Well, all things considered, that had been the worst dream of Isabel's life. She had just hurt Alex so badly that she didn't know if he would ever trust her again. She was stuck in a strange city, 17, pregnant, and running out of money. She wanted her family, she had to go back to Roswell, and face everyone. She had to clean up her mess.  
Alex sat opposite Michael at their regular booth at the Crashdown. He glared at him for 20 minutes before either of them spoke.   
"I trusted you both," everyone could see that Alex wasn't angry, he was hurt. His girlfriend had betrayed him, with one of his best friends.  
"It was once, OK. I've felt bad about it ever since, but you can't change the past." Michael had clammed up. He was refusing to show any of his emotions.  
"You don't get it do you, I feel like such a fool." Maria got up and walked out of the restaurant.  
"Now look what you did," Liz was walking out after Maria.  
"This is ridiculous, we can't talk this through without Isabel." Max also walked out.  
"Well I guess this meeting is over," only Tess was left between Alex and Michael.   
Isabel slowly drove home, she had been gone for 6 days and now she was back in Roswell she was glad she had got out of there. The whole town had an air of confinement and she couldn't help feeling trapped by who she was. At least away from Roswell she was anonymous; she was just another face in the crowd, not an alien. Three blocks from her house she stopped. She had a choice; either go home and get a lecture from Max, or try to sort things with Alex. She just wished there were some way of knowing who her baby's father was. This was so complicated, but she was kidding herself if she said that the only reason she had slept with Michael was to stop the dreams. It had been blind passion, and they both knew it. She loved Alex, but the electricity that she had felt when she had been with Michael had been amazing. God, being a teenager was hard enough without all the destiny crap, and now she was pregnant. Things couldn't get much worse. She had to try and sort things out with Alex.  
  



	3. Finding Out

Alex sat opposite Michael at their regular booth at the Crashdown. He glared at him for 20 minutes before either of them spoke.   
"I trusted you both," everyone could see that Alex wasn't angry, he was hurt. His girlfriend had betrayed him, with one of his best friends.  
"It was once, OK. I've felt bad about it ever since, but you can't change the past." Michael had clammed up. He was refusing to show any of his emotions.  
"You don't get it do you, I feel like such a fool." Maria got up and walked out of the restaurant.  
"Now look what you did," Liz was walking out after Maria.  
"This is ridiculous, we can't talk this through without Isabel." Max also walked out.  
"Well I guess this meeting is over," only Tess was left between Alex and Michael.   
Isabel slowly drove home, she had been gone for 6 days and now she was back in Roswell she was glad she had got out of there. The whole town had an air of confinement and she couldn't help feeling trapped by who she was. At least away from Roswell she was anonymous; she was just another face in the crowd, not an alien. Three blocks from her house she stopped. She had a choice; either go home and get a lecture from Max, or try to sort things with Alex. She just wished there were some way of knowing who her baby's father was. This was so complicated, but she was kidding herself if she said that the only reason she had slept with Michael was to stop the dreams. It had been blind passion, and they both knew it. She loved Alex, but the electricity that she had felt when she had been with Michael had been amazing. God, being a teenager was hard enough without all the destiny crap, and now she was pregnant. Things couldn't get much worse. She had to try and sort things out with Alex.  
Isabel and Liz hadn't ever got on very well, and Tess and Liz hated each other, but that was nothing compared to the way Maria felt towards Isabel at that moment. Still, they were trying to put aside all the complicated love triangles that were controlling their lives to help Isabel. They had never expected to be in this situation but they were. Tess was the only one with any ides what to do. She had a feeling that the baby's mind might hold the key to whether the baby was part human. They had to compare the baby's mind with that of a human baby of the same state of development, and they figured that if they hung around the hospital they would find one. Then all Isabel had to do was dreamwalk into the baby's mind. Who were they kidding, this was along shot, they had no idea if this would work.  
Isabel calmed her mind; she pushed her mind slowly into the baby's mind. It was so strange to be connected to a mind that only recognised sensations and emotions. She was glad she only had to get an impression of the mind and not try and communicate. She had what she wanted, so she eased her mind away from the baby's.  
That had been hard, but later that day she had a harder task, she had to look into her own baby's mind. She was so afraid of what she would find. She wasn't even sure if she would be able to tell, because she had no alien baby's mind to compare it with.   
Alex hadn't cried since he was 9, but the hurt he was feeling at that tine was worse than any possible physical pain. He had got used to the fact that he was going to be a father, but then to have that questioned was like having his heart ripped out. He didn't ever want to see Isabel ever again, but he knew the baby still could be his. Then the one person he wanted to forget walked into his room.  
"What the hell do you want?" Alex was angrier than he had ever been.  
"I can't do this on my own. I have to dreamwalk into my own baby's mind and I'm slightly terrified. I need you. I want this baby to be yours more than I've ever wanted anything in my whole life." Isabel dissolved into sobs and Alex instantly knew that who ever the baby's biological father was, he would always treat it as his own child.  
Isabel cleared her mind for the second time that day, she needed to be absolutely calm, and that was the one thing that she was definitely not. She was just glad that Alex was there to hold her hand. As her mind connected with the baby's mind she felt something so strange, this baby was part of her. She was looking into this tiny, hardly formed mind, and it was like looking in a mirror. This baby was so like her and yet completely different. She knew instantly that Alex was the baby's father, she didn't know how, but she knew. At that moment she was so relaxed, but she knew that the worst was ahead of her.  



	4. Facing It

Michael wasn't disappointed that he wasn't the baby's father, but in some ways he wished he were. Just thinking that there would be a tiny person half him, half Isabel had been a scary thought, but a nice one. He was happy for Isabel and Alex, but he didn't envy their task.   
Tess was finding this hardest to cope with. All her life she had thought that her destiny was set in stone, that she couldn't change it, even if she wanted to. Now she could see Isabel completely ignoring her destiny and having a half-human baby. It terrified her because she could see that Alex would always be one of them, linked by this half-human child.  
This was the bit Alex and Isabel were most scared about; they had to tell their parents. Luckily, Isabel's parents had been on holiday when she had run off, but now they were back and they couldn't delay the inevitable any longer.   
Alex's mum had flipped; to say she had been shocked had been the understatement of the century. She thought Isabel was crazy not to have an abortion, but Alex's dad had been calmer, and stopped any violence. The same could not be said for Isabel's mum. She lost all control and would have hit Alex if Max hadn't stopped her. She all but threw Isabel out, and though the situation was serious, Isabel couldn't help being glad the she hadn't had to tell her mum about the uncertainty over the baby's parentage. Isabel's dad had been less than thrilled, but had agreed to let Isabel's mother cool off for a few days. So Isabel decided she would stay with Tess for a few days.  
All Alex wanted to do was to be with Isabel. He didn't care how many tonnes of shit they were in; all he wanted was to be by her side. He didn't exactly know what was going on, but he knew that all he was going to be a father. That thought scared him more than was imaginable. All his plans for the future were on hold, but he had to face his responsibilities, and at that moment they were directed at Isabel, and their baby.  
Isabel was trying to be calm. She was so tired, and all she could do was lie around on Tess's sofa. She wished she could talk to someone about what was happening, but even her own Mom wouldn't understand. Even if her Mom hadn't kicked her out of the house, she hadn't ever been pregnant. Isabel felt so alone, and if that wasn't bad enough, she was going back to school the next day, and her Mom was insisting that the Principle knew the whole situation. That meant the whole school would know in around 20 minutes. She felt like she would die of embarrassment, but that would be nothing compared to how it would be when she started to look pregnant. The next six months would probably be the worst she would ever have to go through, but at least she had Alex to help her, which was more than many girls in her situation would.   
This was the worst experience of Alex's life. Tess was the biggest blabbermouth about some things and she had had great delight in telling the whole school the exact situation. It wasn't that Alex was embarrassed, but he wished that people weren't staring at him and Isy in that was. The worst thing had been when they had gone to explain the whole situation to the Guidance Councillor. They had to tell her exactly why they wanted to keep this baby. That wasn't easy since the real reason was to do will the little unimportant fact that Isabel wasn't human. They had gotten together the night before and thoroughly planned what they were going to say. They had decided to say that they were both morally against abortion, but it still wasn't 100 percent convincing.  
Isy was sick of people staring at her, she should have just stood up at registration and announced to the world that she was pregnant. Even her so-called friends had been frosty. The only people that were treating her normally were Alex, Liz and surprisingly Maria. They had sat with her in Lunch and classes, but she knew that Alex was getting exactly the same, and Liz was only around out of a sense of loyalty to Max. She didn't know why Maria was there. She would have thought that afterfinding out that she had slept with Michael she would be as far away as possible, but she was there and Isabel appreciated it. Suddenly a sharp pain seared through Isabel's body. Her stomach felt as though it was being ripped into tiny pieces. What the hell was happening?  
All Alex saw was Isabel lying on the floor. He had heard a thud and then Liz screaming. He jumped from his seat and ran to Isabel who was doubled up, having passed out.  
"Isy, can you hear me? Isy come on. Open your eyes Isy." Alex franticly tried to wake Isabel up.  
Isabel opened her eyes slowly. She doubled up and winced with pain. "Help me, Alex," was all she managed to say before she passed out again.  
The teacher was standing over Isabel trying to stop everyone crushing her. She sent Liz to go call an Ambulance.  
  



	5. Never OK

All Isabel could see was a bright light. It was over; the baby was dead. Isabel was numb; she just opened her eyes and lay there.  
'Isy, Isy, are you awake?' Alex walked over to the bed.  
'Go away,' it hurt even to think about Alex. The baby had been part of him, and that part of him, of them was lost forever.  
'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.' That was all Alex said, over and over.  
'It's over, isn't it?' Isabel couldn't even look at him. Alex just nodded his head. 'Go away,' said Isabel and Alex went.  
Alex could understand why Isabel was pushing him away. He could see all her reasons, but it still hurt. He had lost the baby too. He was just as scared, and lost, and upset, but he was hiding his emotions. He had this inbuilt instinct to be strong, and not to let Isabel see that he was constantly on the verge of tears.   
Alex was wondering aimlessly around the wards of the hospital. He wasn't ready to talk to anyone, and Isabel didn't want to see him. Finally he allowed his exterior to crack, and he dissolved into tears.  
Isabel was sat up. She was ready to talk, and she had questions to ask.  
'Why?' That was really all she had to know.  
'Your body couldn't take it.' Tess might have been the only one who could answer her questions but when it came to her people skills, she was the pits.  
'What's that supposed to mean?'   
'Your body wasn't designed to carry a half-human baby.'  
'So you're telling me that if I ever want kids then I have the choice of precisely one guy who can father them?'  
'Yea, pretty much. Except technically Max isn't your biological brother, so he could father your child, but I'm thinking that it's emotionally out of the question.'  
'Get out of here, I'm not in the mood for this.' Isabel was perilously close to loosing her temper.   
'You asked.' And with that Tess left the room.  
'You want some company?' Liz asked.  
'What is this? An outreach program?'  
'I'm sorry, I'll go.'  
'No, it's my fault. Come in, sit. I need some company, otherwise I'll just end up brooding again.'  
'This has to be one of the worst days of your life.'  
'It sucks, I was just getting used to the idea of being a mom, and now, I'm not.' Isabel had silent tears running down her cheeks. 'I feel like some bad soap opera cliché.'  
'It's alright. It will be alright.'  
'No, it won't be alright. It'll never be alright. You could never understand. I could feel that baby inside me. It was a part of me, and it's gone. I just found out that unless I get a taste for incest, Michael is the only person I can ever have children with, and Tess is running for Miss Insensitive 2000. You have no idea, so never try to tell me that it'll be alright.'  
The End  
  



End file.
